75 Funniest Orphan Jokes That’ll Crack Your Ribs

The Best Jokes About Orphans.

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Being an orphan is an unfortunate and somethings troubling thing. It is one of the worst things to happen to a child, but things would definitely get better with the right people around including relatives who genuinely love and care. Even though this article is about orphan jokes, it is not in anyway meant to mock any person or group of people, it is only meant to put a smile on everyone’s face, including people who unfortunately have to be orphans. Typically, these kind of jokes are regarded as dark humor, at least to let the reader know what to expect.

In these trying times when economies are not so great and there are great social issues, it is important that we smile often, at least to alleviate some of the stress of life that we carry about. One of the easiest ways to put a smile on someone’s face is by telling them a joke. If you are a clever comedian you could tell them a joke about themselves and they too would find it incredibly funny and laugh with you.

With this article which is a collection of the funniest orphan jokes there is, we aim to let the world know there’s always something to make everyone smile no matter what situation they find themselves. These orphanage jokes clearly aims to achieve that.

The following dark humor jokes about orphans were compiled from different stories, comedic works as well as jokes from brilliant stand up comedians who have told one of two different jokes about orphans and we have those jokes compiled here for you.

Orphan Jokes

  • Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
    Child: But why?
    Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
  • Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
    Orphan: But why?
    Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
  • Teacher: Are you an orphan?
    Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
    Teacher: Your parents.
  • Girl: come over.
    Orphan: I can’t
    Girl: my parents aren’t home.
    Orphan: oh cool something we have in common.
  • New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
    Students: OOF
    New Teacher: Is anyone missing.
    Students: Your Parents
  • Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
    Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honour.
    Judge: But why?
    Accused: Because I’m an orphan.

Don’t miss some of the these Helen Keller Jokes you would like them.

  • I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team
    Because I hate dealing with parents.
  • There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight.
    The parents aren’t home.
  • Why can’t orphans play baseball?
    They don’t know where home is.
  • What do you call a fish with no parents?
    An orfin
  • What’s an orphan’s least favorite store?
    Home Depot.
  • Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians?
    Because they can’t find the motherboard.
  • What is an orphans favorite beer?
  • What did one orphan say to the other?
    Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
  • Why do orphans like playing tennis?
    Because it’s the only love they get.
  • What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?
    Family Guy.
  • What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
    Apples get picked.
  • What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
    Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
  • What’s an orphan’s favorite band?
    Foster the People.
  • What movie does an orphan want for Christmas, s
    Spiderman homecoming
  • What is an orphan’s favorite event
  • What’s a orphans favorite movie
    Home alone
  • Why was the Orphans first phone a Iphone X
  • Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?
    Because it has no home button.
  • What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?
    The teacher can’t give you homework.
    Because it didn’t have a home button.

Meanwhile, don’t miss some guess what jokes that are as funny as orphan jokes.

  • I made a website for orphans.
    Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
  • I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
    God I love working at an orphanage.
  • Did you know?
    The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
  • What do you call a orphans family reunion?
    Me time.
  • What does an orphan call a family photo?
    A selfie
  • What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
    Father Les.
  • Why couldn’t the orphan watch the movie?
    Because it was PG
  • What is an orphan’s least favorite song?
    We are Family.
  • What does an orphan call a family photo?
    A selfie
  • Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
    Parent Signature: ______
  • I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were.
    Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage
  • Never tell an Orphan about a family matter,
    they wouldn’t understand.
  • What’s big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
    My donation check to the orphanage.
  • My ex was an orphan as a child
    I should have taken that as the first sign.
    If her parents didn’t want her, why would I.

Orphanage Jokes

  • Why don’t orphans get offended by these jokes?
    They don’t hit home.
  • An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
    I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
  • My dad used to say, “Marry an orphan…
    Then you’ll be marrying the whole family.”
  • Where did the orphans go after the orphanage blew up?
  • Being an orphan isn’t all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
  • Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?
    The punchline isn’t ap-parent.
  • If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.
    What are they gonna do?
    Tell their parents?
  • Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
    Because no one will look for them.
  • Why do orphans play GTA
    So they can be wanted.
  • What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
  • Why was the orphan so successful?
    When they told him “go big or go home”, he only had one option.
  • Why are orphans bad at poker?
    Because they don’t know what a full house is.
  • Why did the orphan go to church?
    So he had someone to call Father.
  • Why do orphans love boomerangs?
    Because they actually come back.
  • What do blind kids and orphans have in commonNeither of them can see their parents.
  • Why are orphans bad at poker?They don’t know what a full house is.
  • Why can’t orphans work at S.C JohnsonCause it’s a family company
  • Why are there only 363 days in an orphans calendar? They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
  • What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?
    Get in the Batmobile, Robin.
  • What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
  • What is the difference between a prince, a bald headed man, a monkey and an orphan? The first is an heir apparent, the second has no apparent hair, the third has hairy parent and the last has nary a parent.
  • What do orphans get at Christmas?Lonely.
  • Why is an empty champagne bottle like an orphan?Because it has lost its pops.
  • Who isn’t allowed to watch PG movies?Orphans.
  • What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?One is an orphan and the other is an ore fan.
  • The f in orphan stands for family.
  • Why didn’t the duck family take in the orphaned cygnet?‘Swan more mouth to feed.
  • An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
  • Where did the orphans go after the orphanage blew up?Everywhere.

Do you know these colonoscopy jokes?

That is the end of the huge list of funny but dark humor orphan jokes. As earlier stated, these jokes are not meant to mock anyone but to make everyone laugh and enjoy themselves.