Helen Keller Jokes

Helen Keller Jokes

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You might be wondering whom Hellen Keller is and if she is a comedian. If she isn’t a comedian why exactly does she have jokes named Helen Keller Jokes, after her?

Well, Helen Keller was an American author and a prominent activist whose works greatly impacted the disability community of which she happened to be a member of because during her childhood, she became both blind and deaf. Helen Keller had a rough start at life due to the her disability but later came out on top. She wrote 12 books, was an inspiration to many back then and is still inspiring many today after she’s long gone.

Despite having this awesome profile and not being a comedian or jokester herself, why are there so many Helen Keller jokes floating around the internet? My answer is, I don’t know. But as stated on other articles about jokes, humans have evolved to make jokes about everything including our sicknesses and foods and awesome Helen Keller and her works are not an exception. Something to note about these Hellen Keller jokes is that some of them are quite offensive since they often times made fun of her inability to see and hear, sometimes it is subtle other times, it is not.

If you are one that enjoys all kinds of jokes including dark orphan jokes then the following Helen Keller jokes would be the most perfect fit for your sense of humor.

Hellen Keller Jokes

  • Did you hear that new Helen Keller joke? Don’t worry, neither did she.
  • I am now 99% sure that Helen Keller invented Taco Bell.
  • High School, doesn’t make sense like Helen Keller with an ipod
  • I bet Helen Keller was the best at Marco Polo.
  • Did you hear about the new Hellenic Keller doll… she didn’t.
  • Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a table , then a chair.
  • Roses are black, violets are black. I’m Helen Keller
  • If Helen Keller were alone in a forest and fell down, would she make a sound?
  • Shoosh girl, shut your lips. do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips!
  • Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as; “The most violent book I have ever read”
  • When does Helen Keller know to stop wiping? Once the toilet paper stops tasting funny.
  • Helen Keller once farted during a lecture on genetic hearing loss. The science in the room was deafening.
  • Why does everyone enjoy having Helen Keller at bondage parties? She can never say the safe word.
  • Why was Helen Keller an atheist? She only believed what she saw.
  • The new book about Helen Keller is absolutely incredible! The audio book is absolutely unintelligible though.\
  • What do you get when you cross Helen Keller and a Zebra? A referee.
  • Why was Helen Keller so good at golf? She was a 2 handicap.
  • Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
  • What was the first thing Hellen Keller noticed at the beach? The volleyball net.
  • What is Helen Keller favorite’s day? Black Friday.
  • What would John Cena say to Helen Keller? You can’t see me!
  • Interviewer: Helen, can you describe your friends in a word? Helen Keller: Quiet.
  • Why was Helen Keller arrested for sexual assault? She was trying to read somebody’s body language.
  • What type of parties did Helen Keller organize? Blackout parties.
  • Call me Helen Keller.. Im blind & deaf to my haters
  • Why did the others think that Helen Keller was a rude baby? She never played peek-a-boo.
  • Friend: I’ve never seen the Helen Keller movie. Me: Don’t worry, neither did she.
  • Where do Helen Keller’s parents have her go when there’s company over? Disneyworld
  • How did Helen Keller burn her hands? She was trying to read a waffle iron
  • What did Helen Keller’s parents do to punish her for swearing? Washed her hands with soap.
  • Why was Helen Keller’s leg yellow? Her dog was blind too.
  • Which mail does Helen Keller use to connect with her friends and family? Blackmail.
  • Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? So she can moan with the other.
  • What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well? She screamed her hands off.
  • How do you punish Helen Keller? By rearranging the living-room furniture.
  • Why did Helen Keller cross the road? What, like she know’s where she’s going?
  • Why can’t Hellen Keller jump out of an airplane? It scares the shit out of her dog.
  • Did you did you see Hellen Kellers broadway play? Oh neither did she
  • Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she
  • What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole. She screamed until her hands got tired.
  • Why was Helen a rebellious kid? She didn’t hear a word her parents told her.
  • How do you mess with Helen Keller? Superglue doorknobs all over the walls.
  • Why do people get offended by Helen Keller jokes? In fact, Helen Keller wouldn’t know if someone cracked it in front of her.

Check out these funny Will Smith Jokes that are so popular.

  • Why is Helen Keller’s belly button bruised? Her boyfriend is blind too.
  • Why did Helen Keller didn’t make the football team? Apparently, ‘blind side’ doesn’t mean what she thought it did.
  • Why was Helen Keller late to reach home after school? She didn’t hear the bell ring.
  • What made Helen Keller angry? Someone suggested she look at the bright side of things.
  • Why does Helen Keller hate winters? Her hands get so cold that she can barely speak.
  • How do you know when Helen Keller is home? When you hear somebody falling down the stairs.
  • What’s Helen Keller’s least favorite song? Sound and vision.
  • What did Helen Keller’s parents do to punish her? Moved the couch.
  • How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? Break her fingers
  • How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They left the plunger in the toilet
  • Why did Helen Keller go crazy? She was trying to read a stucko wall.
  • What was Helen Kellers favorite childhood game? Musical Chairs
  • Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants? So you can read her lips.
  • How did she burn the other side of her face? They called back!

While it is true that some of these Helen Keller jokes are very funny, they’re still some of the most offensive jokes one could read depending on who is reading them. Interestingly, it is not known who invented or started Hellen Keller jokes, but one thing that is known is that millions have kept the tradition going for decades. In fact, there’s a Hellen Keller joke for virtually everything possible.

If you think you can make the funniest Helen Keller jokes, send them over to get featured on the list of of funny Hellen Keller jokes.