The Best Colonoscopy Jokes

Colonoscopy Jokes

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Colonoscopy is the examination of the large intestine with the use of inserted cameras, for swollen tissues, cancers, polyps or irritated tissues. The essence of it is to examine if your colon(part of the large intestine) is experiencing any from of growth or irritation. Just as you know, humans make jokes of everything and anything, there are many reasons for which these jokes are made but what surprises me most the first time I heard of colonoscopy jokes is that we have actually figured out a way to laugh over an examination that could produce a result with potential ti change our life forever. But then I remember that jokes are one of the ways we use to cope with uncomfortable situations and colonoscopy jokes are not any different.

You would be surprised that asides jokes about colonoscopy, there are jokes about even much more life threatening medical conditions, while on the surface the jokes sound like they’re meant to mock the patients, but in reality, they are only meant to help us cope and live with the problems life surrounds us with.

If you want to maintain a high spirit and good mood while your doctor is inserting a camera into your butt and ultimately colon, then these colonoscopy jokes are for you. You need the jokes for colonoscopy to help you cope and see that there are still reasons to smile and laugh.

That being said, let’s dive into the list of jokes about colonoscopy that are actually funny to read.

Jokes About Colonoscopy

  • What should a colonoscopy really be called? A colonoscopoo.
  • I went for a colonoscopy the other day and the doctor told me to lie on my left side. I said, “Sorry I only lie on my right side. I always tell the truth on my left side.
  • My doctor told me he found something alarming in my colonoscopy. He found a clock.
  • As the doctor put the camera up my butt, I said, “Aren’t you taking an awfully indirect route for an eye exam? This is the optometrist’s office, right?”
  • I asked my Dad how is colonoscopy went. He said it was a pain in the butt.
  • The vet really screwed up my pig’s colonoscopy. He’s pretty ham-fisted.
  • My English professor had a colonoscopy. Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon.
  • What’s the difference between a colonoscopy and an endoscopy? The taste.
  • Someone I know gave a really deep speech to convince me to go for a colonoscopy. What else can I say? Something touched me deep inside.
  • I had a colonoscopy the other day. Worst dentist appointment I’ve ever had.
  • I forgot to pay my colonoscopy bill. Now I’m in arrears.
  • What kind of camera do they use for colonoscopies? A GoProbe.
  • My colonoscopy wasn’t the best experience of my life. But it was right up there.
  • What do you call an Irish proctologist? Colin O’Scopy.
  • I have inner beauty. And I have the video from my colonoscopy to prove it.
  • I got my colonoscopy results. The doctor gave me two thumbs up.
  • Dad: Why does our president go to the gastroenterologist so often? Me: Why? Dad: Because he can’t stop Put in.
  • What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? Pokemon!
  • As a trainee proctologist, I had to work my way up from the bottom.
  • What does Arnold Schwarzenegger call a colonoscopy? A Cameron Diaz.
  • I first met my wife in my gastroscopy clinic. As the tube came out, she patted it and murmured “you enjoyed that didn’t you, big boy…. “I thought “she’s the one.”
  • Got my colonoscopy test back from the doctor… Apparently, I’ve got negative sh*t in my life.
  • How do you know your boss is qualified as both a proctologist and a podiatrist? Because he’s always got his foot up someone’s ass.
  • Colonoscopies are important. They really help doctors get to the bottom of your health issues.
  • Did you hear about the proctologist and the pyschiatrist who opened a practice together? They called it “Odds and Ends”.
  • Why did Erica keep putting off scheduling her colonoscopy? She knew that she was going to get it in the end.
  • I’m not saying my Proctologist has the fattest index finger I’ve ever seen. But it’s definitely up there.
  • “Don’t worry, getting an erection at this stage of the process is perfectly typical,” my doctor advised as he prepared me for the colonoscopy exam procedure. “I don’t have an erection,” I explained. “No, but I have,” he said.
  • What is the proper toast for someone drinking colonoscopy prep? Bottoms up!
  • How is the patient after the colonoscopy? He’s fine now but at the time it rectum!
  • How do you know Gastroenteritis has hit the Olympics? All the sprinters have the runs.
  • What do you think a colonoscopy costs? A buttload.
  • A man goes in for a colonoscopy. The doctor starts looking around and says “Wow, I can’t see sh*t. I guess you can go.”
  • What do you call a bad Gastroenterologist? Sh*t for brains.
  • Did you hear about the golfer who started a colonoscopy clinic? He does 18 holes a day.
  • I had a colonoscopy recently and believe it or not getting the camera up there doesn’t hurt as much as you might think. It’s the crew that’s the killer.
  • After I had my colonoscopy, the proctologist asked if I had any questions. Apparently, “Do you do birthday parties?” was the wrong answer.
  • I’m tired of being the butt of all these colonoscopy jokes.
  • After all, they’re the only ones who truly know me inside and out.
  • After my colonoscopy, I asked my doctor and nurses if I could list them as references on my resume.
  • I just got a bill from my doctor for the bowel prep before my colonoscopy. Man, that sh*t was expensive!
  • My uncle has a colonoscopy scheduled for this afternoon. Butt don’t worry; he should be fine.

That’s all the colonoscopy jokes I can remember to share with you, have you even gone for a colonoscopy and probably heard some really funny jokes about colonoscopy? Share with us so we can get entertained too.