Puns About Onions

Onion Puns

onion puns, onion jokes, puns about onions, jokes about onions, onion pun

Welcome to the hilarious and flavorful world of onion puns and jokes about onions! If you’re a fan of wordplay and love to spice up your conversations with witty humor, then you’re in for a treat. Onions, those versatile and pungent vegetables, are not only known for adding flavor to various dishes, but they also lend themselves perfectly to puns and jokes that will make you laugh out loud!

Imagine cracking up at a dinner table with friends as you exchange clever puns about onions, or sharing a hilarious onion joke at a family gathering that leaves everyone in stitches. From classic one-liners to clever wordplay, onion puns and jokes about onions are a surefire way to bring joy and laughter to any occasion.

As you dive into the world of onion puns and jokes, you’ll discover a treasure trove of clever and witty wordplay that revolves around this humble vegetable. From puns like “I’m feeling a bit onion-sting” to jokes like “Why did the onion break up with garlic? It found someone hotter!”, the possibilities are endless when it comes to tickling your funny bone with onion-themed humor.

Not only are onion puns and jokes a source of amusement, but they also serve as great conversation starters and icebreakers. Whether you’re at a party, a networking event, or just striking up a conversation with someone new, throwing in an onion pun or joke can instantly break the ice and make you the life of the party.

In addition to their comedic value, onion puns and jokes are also perfect for social media and online interactions. With the rise of memes and humorous content on platforms like Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, sharing an onion pun or joke can garner likes, comments, and shares, making you the punny star of the online world.

So get ready to peel back the layers of laughter and delve into the wonderful world of onion puns and jokes. Whether you’re a seasoned pun-master or just starting out, this article will be your ultimate guide to all things onion-related humor. From clever puns to witty jokes, we’ll explore the funniest and most unique ways to bring a smile to your face with onion-themed wordplay. So let’s dive in and get ready to laugh your way through the deliciously funny world of onion puns and jokes!

Onion Jokes

  • Why do onions have a poor self-image? Because people cry when they get onions naked.
  • While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears.
  • Where did the onion find his family history? In the ar-chives!
  • Why does Mr Potato Head have a mobile? In case Mr Onion Rings.
  • Where do onions fight? In the onion ring.
  • Where do onions go when they want a few drinks? The salad bar.
  • Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
  • What does an onion say when you knock on their door? “Come on ion!”
  • What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
  • What do you say happened to an onion that got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
  • What do you call an onion that won’t hold water? A leek.
  • What do you call an onion that decides to be eco-friendly? A green onion.
  • What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
  • What’s an opinion without 3.14? An onion.
  • What do you call an onion that just hit puberty? A blooming onion.
  • What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? A spring onion!
  • What’s round, white, and giggles? A tickled onion.
  • What did the wedding cake say while it was cutting an onion? “I’m in tiers.”
  • What do hedgehogs eat? Prickled onions!
  • What do you call a communist onion? A red onion!
  • What do you call a hobbit with a healthy appetite? Lord of the Onion Rings.
  • What do you say to a small onion that has helped you? “Thanks shallot!”
  • What does the onion say when you are upset because of it? It says, “I am sorry that I made you cry!”
  • What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
  • What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, “You shallot pass this bridge!”
  • What is a charged vegetable that’s never off? On-ion.
  • What is the favorite color of onions? It’s o-neon.
  • What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
  • What do you call the event when the entire onion family gets together? A family reonion.
  • What do you call the onions, which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
  • What do you get if you eat beans with onions? Teargas!
  • The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it ‘Chives Talking’.
  • My wallet is like an onion. Whenever I open it, my eyes tear up.
  • My girlfriend had tears in her eyes when I proposed to her, probably because I used an onion ring.
  • Onion-matopoeia – words that sound like onions.
  • My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions. He’s still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
  • The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn’t have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
  • On which website will you learn about the hidden gossip and secrets of the onion world? On Wiki-Leeks.
  • Spring onion is a bouncy root vegetable.
  • Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
  • My wife’s an abysmal cook. She tried combining corned beef, onions, and potatoes. She made a right hash of it.
  • I applied to join a competitive onion-chopping team but I didn’t make the cut.
  • I beat my rivals by inventing the world’s first book made from onion skin. Read it and weep!
  • I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions!
  • I have a pogo stick made out of vegetables. It’s a spring onion.
  • I never asked for your opi-onion.
  • I saw an onion ring. So I answered it.
  • I used to sell loose onions until I got the sack‬.
  • I was at the supermarket and I picked up these little odd-shaped onions. When I got home, my wife asked whether she should use them for dinner tonight. I replied, “Yes, but they’re quite strong, so don’t use shallot.”
  • I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, “Do you want a lift?”. “No thanks”, they replied, “We’re Walkers”.
  • I’m allergic to green onions. Every time I eat them, I break out in chives.
  • If you cry when you cut an onion, here’s a tip: don’t get emotionally attached.
  • In the history class, the onion teacher taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
  • My friend said that onions are the only vegetable that makes him cry. So I threw a pumpkin at him.
  • My friend thought he was factual when he said that onions are the only vegetables that make one cry. He hadn’t yet tasted the vegetable salad that I had made for him.
  • Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider? It’s called Shallot’s Web.
  • How do Korean onions greet each other? “Onion-haseyo!”.
  • How do onions propose to their girlfriends? With onion rings.
  • How should you bury an onion? In a shallot grave!
  • Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
  • Did you hear about the mischievous green onion that sang hip-hop? He was a real rapscallion.
  • For the last few weeks, I have been receiving an onion joke in the mail every day. I don’t know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
  • A chef asked me to check the balance of the chili and onion in a soup… so I pushed it over!
  • All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
  • What do you call an onion that enjoys karate? A chopped onion!
  • How does the fireman onion propose to his girlfriend? With a crispy onion ring!
  • At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying, “Shallot!”.


Which of the above onion puns made you laugh till you shed a little tear? Were they as funny as you expected? Do share the onion jokes and onions puns with yor family and friends who might be in need of some tear-inducing onion jokes.