Stupid Funny Quotes

List Of Stupid Funny Quotes Of All Time

stupid funny quotes

If there’s anything that units every single living person on this planet it is our collective love for funny quotes and other interestingly fun sayings, it even gets more and more intriguing when these funny quotes are outright stupid quotes. Such kind of stupid quotes would have you thinking and wondering what level of stupidity or insanity does one have to attain to come up with such a quote. Irrespective of how much of a serious person or how much of your sense of humor you’ve lost, I can guarantee one thing, and that is these stupid funny quotes would definitely crack you up. No two ways about it.

No matter what part of the world you’re from or what you do for a living you’re sure going to find these quotes funny and at the same time stupid which is a good thing.

Let’s dive into our list of funny quotes for the day.

Stupid Funny Quotes

  •  Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.
  • Dear math,  please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
  • Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird, be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.
  • An Apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
  • There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
  • I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
  • A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else bis laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. 
  • I don’t mean to brag, but I put a puzzle together and the box said 2-4years.
  • My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn’t be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn’t be beauty, so the world needs you after all.
  • Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It’s just that yours is stupid.
  • Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you are done.
  • I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
  • I’m going to open a new Facebook account named ‘Anonymous’ so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!.
  • I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel better.
  • Did you just fall? No, i was checking if gravity still works.
  • In grammar class, the teacher asks her student: When you sing, you say ‘I sing’ what do you say when your brother is singing? I say ‘shut up you’re a terrible singer’.
  • Roses are Red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.
  • The difference between stupidity and genius has its limits. 
  • It’s so simple to be wise. Just think is something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
  • If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.
  • Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle.
  • If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any skater.
  • Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
  • What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down. 
  • I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwich live.
  • The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons… And 85% morons.
  • Instead of calling ut the John, I’m going to start calling it the jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
  • Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean that I won’t sing.
  • I would like to apologise to anyone whom  i haven’t offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. 
  • I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you have made. 
  • I put my phone in airplane mode, but its not flying.
  • You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here.
  • I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
  • No matter how smart you are, you can never convince someone that they are stupid.
  • Don’t be stupid, it might make you famous.
  • Cats have 32 muscles in each ear to help them ignore you.
  • My kitchen cleaner says “for clean kitchen” so i can’t use it, mine is dirty.
  • I just cleaned the house from top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.
  • You laugh because I’m different, i laugh because i just farted.
  • A cop pulled me over an told me “Papers”, so I said “Scissors, I win!”and I drove off.
  • Alcohol, what’s that? It’s not in my Vodkabulary, but ket me check in Whiskypedia.
  • Your legs must be tired, becaise you have been running through my mind all night.
  • Are you for tomorrow? No, tomorrow I’m stilexpensive.
  • Sometimes I’m grateful that thiught dont appear as bubbles over our heads.
  • What’s happening with your phone, everytume i call you it says ‘The subscriber you’re calling is a Monkey, please contact the Zoo.’
  • My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the him button but when I look around, I’m still at work.
  • Teacher: Why are you taking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
  • My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.
  • Three great forces rule the world: stupidity, fear and greed.
  • There is no vaccine against stupidity.
  • The height of stupidity is most clearly demonstrated by the individual who ridicules something he knows nothing about.
  • Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.
  • What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
  • No matter where you go, there you are.
  • An intelligent woman is a woman with whom one can be as stupid as one wants.
  • A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they’re loaded or not.
  • A stupid selects another stupid to train, to prove both are stupids.
  • Don’t ask questions you don’t know the answer to. 😝
  • My brakes didn’t work on my car so I hit the gas, then heard a cool beeping sound, and saw flashy lights. Best day ever!!!
  • My Aunt is having a daughter, hope it is a girl.

How did you find the above quotes? Funny, dumb, silly, stupid, crazy or a combination of them all? I’m sure it is a combination of these attributes that is why we have them here for you today. Do share these quotes with your friends and family who need something funny to make their day at work, school or elsewhere.